October 5, 2024
I gave up my passion for writing when I went to college. I wrote this sentence in my notes app on my phone on August 7th as I sat in a small office with no windows, at a place physically, mentally, and emotionally where I purely was in survival mode. I was in the spiral of frustration internally and questioning what I even felt passion for.
Like many of the client’s I see, there is a primary theme that never fails to come up. We can’t even equate it to a lost sense of self because our core qualities remain even in the suffering. It’s more of a despair, a question of “what do I do and where do I go from here.”
That very theme was suffocating me - the therapist. Sitting in the seat with the task of delving into picking apart someone else's life to examine where their meaning left and where they want to go seemed like an impossible task when I felt like I was drowning.
I knew I wanted to start a blog the summer before I began graduate school - but I was scared. Who would listen to someone who can’t claim expertise? Who would relate to the person who is in the infancy of life experience?
I have recognized in my early career that expertise is a facade - I know I can get heat for having such a view. If I came to the point of caring what that could result for me, this blog wouldn’t exist. The deadliest mindset that plagues mental health professionals is the proclamation that we are deemed experts by the years of experience that lies next to the fancy letters at the end of our name. What has failed to be recognized is the reality of deeming such an “achievement” which actually corresponds in the need to no longer proceed with curiosity.
We do not question diagnosis. We do not question final findings. We do not even question ourselves. Instead we accept the fancy words we can’t pronounce as the reason to our struggles - stunting our lives and preventing the reach for true potential.
Could our pain and suffering be due to a lack of reflection? Could our struggles be due to masking the need to expose ourselves to emotions? Could our limitations in life be fixed if we just take the leap?
I want to be challenged. I want to have those conversations. Most importantly, I want to cross paths with fellow lifelong learner who can give me more light.
Through strength, resiliency, and optimism we can build new experiences. It is scary, unfathomable, and a bit risky. But what if we don't?
I deleted that sentence in the notes app on my phone from August 7th.
Welcome to Unmasked - I am so glad you’re here.